dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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