dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
do herpes really smell.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
