I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
