careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize