Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
