My brain says no but my pants say off.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I party with great urgency now.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
