Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
