I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
