I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have fence marks all over my body
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
