HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
