I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
