Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
