saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
