It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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