i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
