I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
