Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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