You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
