a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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