I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
