Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
