Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
