When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We were destined to go to rehab together
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
