Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize