just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
