bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
