dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
