your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
