he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
