i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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