Dual....:-)
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
