you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Randomize
