As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
