His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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