I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
