so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
