What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
