I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Are we still banned from the library?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
