I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
