I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
