Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
