"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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