i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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