My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
