If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
