i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I want a musical about memes.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
