she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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