Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
