his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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