There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm always down for nudity.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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