It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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