Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
