you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
