saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
id be glad to
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize