North Korea, Best Korea!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
