Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
