You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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