did you get engaged???
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
