yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize