I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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